โ๐๐๐๐พ๐๐๐ ๐น๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ป ๐พ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐, ๐ท๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐พ๐๐ ๐๐๐น๐ถ๐ ๐๐ป ๐พ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ฝ.โ โ๐๐ฝ๐ถ๐๐๐๐ ๐ฎ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐
Today, I want to have a chat. Some of you probably know a lot of what has been going on in my life, but for those who donโt here is a little recap. I started my adult career in engineering and hated most days of it. My health and mental wellbeing were difficult to keep up with while I was doing a job that wasnโt a good fit, so when covid hit and I was let go I took the opportunity to figure out what I wanted. After a breakup, family health scares, losing my job, and being locked down alone with nothing but my animals and my thoughts for a few months I finally figured it out: organizing. (I canโt take full credit for figuring it out โ thanks, Emma!)
Since August, I have been building my business. I got my LLC in January, my first employee in February, and finally got to the point where we are booked out a month ahead. Obviously building a business isnโt exactly easy, but everything seems to be falling in place so well. In fact, everything has been falling in place almost too easily. I have been building my relationships with friends I never had energy to make time for, my health has been increasingly getting stronger, and I started dating a man who is helping me work on my past trauma (and a lot of projects).
The past 8 months, I have had more free time than I feel like I deserve. I have had time and energy to focus on what I need to: me. And I have somehow built a business that continues to grow with minimal effort. Donโt get me wrong, I am still working hardโฆ but it doesnโt feel like work. It doesnโt sap the energy out of me to get up and go to work in the mornings. In fact, it excites me. Every new client who calls gives me energy and hope to help with someone. Every time I get to work with Abbie, we have fun!! I NEVER would have expected to be where I am today.
So why am I so anxious? Why am I so stressed? And most of all, why am I waiting on the other shoe to drop? For everything to crash and burn and go back to โnormalโ? Why canโt I just let myself be happy with the growth of my business and the time I get to have with my friends? Does anyone else have this problem? I literally had a fight with myself internally today at work. At our hoarder house, I saw everything we had left to do and heard my internal voice say โAre you sure you can do this? What if it isnโt enough? What if she hates it and shares negative reviews that ruin your business? It isnโt too late to leave and go back to engineering. It could be worseโ Where did that come from?! I had to tell myself โExcuse you, look how far youโve come. Stop wasting energy telling yourself you canโt and just do it!โ
This week, Iโve been finding myself saying daily: โEnjoy what you have. If things go wrong, itโs okay. Donโt waste this time expecting it to go downhill. Enjoy it while you have it, whether itโs 8 months, 8 years, or the rest of your life.โ Yoga is helping me stay in the here and nowโฆ at least temporarily. When youโre used to fighting to live every day, thriving is hard. It doesnโt seem real. Honestly, Iโm waiting to wake up from a coma in an alternate reality! Do you have anything you do to help with anxiety and feelings like this? I have no real answers, I just needed to write it out and try to see if anyone can help me make sense of it. I love you all so much and I hope you are thriving as much as Iโm trying to!! ๐ As always, if you take any fun pictures or videos, tag me on Instagram @SmileMakePeopleWonder and use the hashtag #DandelionSmiles. Donโt forget to subscribe so you donโt miss out on the next exciting idea
Dandelion Smiles 